Lack of Self Love and the Industry It Funds

LACK OF SELF LOVE AND THE INDUSTRY IT FUNDS

by Aleasa M. Word
Copyright 2017

Many people would blame the lack of self-acceptance on the media. After all there are so many commercials telling us what we need to do to look better, feel better and even smell better right? I mean if there are manufacturers making this stuff then it stands to reason there must be something with all of us who don't have what they say on the commercials or print ads right? 

Have you ever asked yourself why companies keep making more and more new products to "improve us  if they claim the ones they have are THE ones that will change our lives?" Adults understand it's a marketing ploy but we still fall for it. The truth is they know that the quest to improve you is fueled by you and not what you see on the ads. It is us as people who grow up watching habits our parents, relatives and extended community have that speak to incorrect self-images. As children we are nothing more than sponges at times soaking it all in which can be good but we suck in the negative self-image part too.  Many spend years in therapy as an adult trying to get this image of an ugly self out of their minds only for it to return whispering "sweet uglies" to us even louder. It's like it is  branded in the minds of some people and this is one of the great human tragedies that makes plenty of companies rich off of the pain of others.

So what about the children? When was the last time you took a real look at how you act in front of young people? I'm not talking about what you say or how you pretend to act but how you REALLY act? Are you constantly dissatisfied with clothing and how it fits because it shows your fat this or ugly that? Do you put on lots of makeup because you feel you have no lips or eyes without it? Are you embarassed about your balding head or graying hair? How about your short stubby feet or long skinny toes? All of these things we complain about are part of the messaging our kids get. They hear "it's ok to hate your body." This is what we teach people to believe is normal. It's no wonder so many hate the skin they are in and try their whole life to get a new image...one that will make them feel whole. The real deal is they will never feel whole until they get to a point of true self acceptance. This includes loving the paper thin fingernails you have and walking outside boldly without makeup from time to time because that's who you really are. 

I took until I moved away from my family for me to walk outside with makeup. Yup you can call me vain if you want but I realize now that it was much deeper than that. It was all the times I was told how attractive I was when I had makeup on and all the times I wasn't told the same when I didn't have it on. It was all of the girls at 14 who wore makeup and got the attention of others so I felt I had to do the same. It was a continual cycle of me believing I looked better or like a real person with makeup which really translated to perhaps I ddn't think as much of myself without it. Do I still wear makeup...yes indeed I do. The difference now is it is worn as an enhancer and not a mask to cover up what I thought for some unknown reason I should cover up. 
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For many women, it isn't until we are in our 30's and 40's that we have an epiphany about what is really important. We begin to see that the aggravation of doing things for the sake of others needs to have a value attached to it that matters to us as well. There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight for your health or enhance your natural beauty as long as you are ABLE and WILLING to accept your natural beauty flaws and all. 

Photo: LaVladina/Flickr

. https://www.flickr.com/photos/danielavladimirova/7691339866/in/photolist-cHE8o3-54veaD-agPjv-7eF9ED-8XVKmw-agPjw-qPW25e-9pnw9W-9hbVQr-bWQtFZ-eBWbNx-6e4GLR-8VZrri-frqdYH-fXLh6G-aAgGqg-aAgDfT-qmukNw-agPjq-agPjt-2gLqww-4MAt4m-72odFH-h5JPT-6nEDMH-7nmnQc-GCrj8-dZRjFE-6TaV83-7muxhB-6N3S6o-jidz51-4biJNA-2vVkpu-4N8ozW-B5bpD-agPjx-5DbMqB-66TWp9-ebCGqX-5xSWBM-k7UytZ-a8Qyvt-fW8SZu-kjCLsv-qTi1JK-5ZDMp2-hBRx8F-79Jiin-NSZfq

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