Lonely Men: How to know if it's because you come across as arrogant or obnoxious

Copyright 2013             Aleasa M. Word         All Rights Reserved

As you watch television and view social media you see all  kinds of direct and indirect messages from and to single people. Dating sites claim to help you find the mate of your dreams as long as you answer their questionnaires and complete your profile in detail. The ads themselves always picture happy smiling people who at one time seemed to be not so happy, lonely people.  It makes some people want to run to the computer and put their profile up until they realize that even dating sites know love costs and there is a subscription fee. Even if they sign up for a subscription some guys STILL can’t find a person who is willing to date them let alone end up in a long term relationship with them. 
 
Think about the guy who is simply arrogant and obnoxious.  He doesn’t know he’s either of these two but knows he’s alone and he doesn’t like it. What makes him arrogant? What makes him obnoxious? 
 
·  Being pushy – telling her how things will be when you go out for a date instead of asking her out
·  Over inflating who you are and what you have to offer –  this leaves us asking if you’re so great why aren’t 
    you dating  yourself
 · Acting as though you’re doing her a favor – why is being in YOUR presence and honor when you know
   deep inside you’re honored to have her?
 · Assuming she’s a cook – trying to get her to cook for you on the first date makes you look cheap and lazy
 · Letting nervousness make you insult her – be careful what you say it could be used against you and be
   cause for you not having the next date 
 
I once met a guy who was clearly interested in me.  From outward appearances he looked like someone I’d be interested in as well. And then, there was that fatal moment when he opened his mouth.  He proceeded to try and tell me his entire life story after he’d flagged me down in the parking lot of my apartment complex to gain my interest.  Even though he could be a really nice guy I couldn’t see past his pushiness.  He constantly talked about himself without giving regard to getting to know me.  He said things like “when we go
out….blah blah blah.”  In my head I thought, when the heck did the “hey I think you’re alright could we go out some time” question happen? I really began to think I missed part of the conversation until I realized he assumed I MUST be interested in him since he’d never seen me
with anyone.  
  
I’d like to enlighten my good brothers to a few things that will help out because I really do want you all to find the woman of your dreams and not have you push her away:
 
· Don’t assume because she entertains conversation that she is interested in you
· Remember relationships are two way streets unless you want to keep talking about yourself and you’ll be on
   a one way road to loneliness
· Telling her she “looks good for a woman over….” Is not a compliment, be mindful of what you say
· Never assume she doesn’t have a man and be respectful whether she does or doesn’t
· Please stop thinking you’re God’s gift to all women when you can’t even get one to commit to you
 
Dating in today’s world is hard but there is no need to make it harder.  Women want respect
just like men do and we want to feel valued. There comes a time when you have to put down the boyhood antics of being rude to show a girl you like her unless the person you really want to date is a girl and not a real woman. 

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