How Do You Answer Cancer? - A lesson on responding to the newly diagnosed

Copyright 2011     Aleasa M. Word          All Rights Reserved
In memory of the man who inspired this story  in 2011 John C. I am reposting. R.I.P.

Walking into the room, oblivious to anything else  going on, there he stood. Not much to speak of, just a male doing what men do. I  said hello, then he said hello. Then silence. Shortly thereafter, I asked how he  was as we waited for his food to cook in the microwave. He began to make small  talk and then dropped the bomb on me. The "big C" 

Was I friends with this person? NO. Did I really know much about him? NO. Had  I even solicited this information by asking questions about his health? NO. I  was waiting just like he was and then he said it. In an instance I was silent,  yet I knew I should say something. What should I say? What would I say? How
should I react? Did my face have “the look” revealing the letters OMG that just  jumped into my head? Then it struck me. How do you answer cancer? 

I picked up my pieces after only a few seconds which seemed like an hour. I  looked him in the eye and said “you’re going to be fine” as if I  already knew.  I’m not quite sure that was what he expected to hear; but, that’s  what made sense in my mind at that moment. Maybe God gave me those words. For  all of the shock, there was a peace that passed all understanding for this  person who I never really knew on a personal level. (At least for a second that  is.) Though others had been sick before, I began to feel empty for him. He said  “kids get it all the time, so I’ll just have to man up and take my medicine like  they do.” At that second, that very moment, I just wanted to cry and give him a  hug. How could I? Would he be receptive? Would it be appropriate? I stood there  looking at him during that awkward moment crying inside and said “ I will pray  for you.”

When it comes to praying for people I realize praying for someone never costs  us anything. I didn’t even know this man’s views on religion; but,  it came natural to me to say that  to him. He politely said “thank you.” As it never skipping a beat, we continued  on about someone else I knew who’d been recently diagnosed and was getting  treatment. All the while I stood there stunned on the inside, hopeful on the outside.

Why did this man feel he needed to tell me about his recent diagnosis? Was he  that comfortable being around me? Did he feel a peace in the room that I was not privy too? Or  did he just need to talk? Was saying it his way of making it real and accepting  it? How could he just blurt it out? One thing for sure, this was not at all  about me. It was about what he needed to do deal with the cards he was dealt.   It was about my good friend who’d given me her praise report that same day that  she didn’t have the big "C" but had been concerned.  

Suddenly the microwave beeped. What was I supposed to do now? How was this  conversation supposed to end? How can you just walk away when someone drops something this heavy in your lap? How do you answer cancer?  

Having a few relatives who survived breast cancer when I was younger didn’t  give me a real insight into what people have to go through when they have it.  Unless you’re on the front line with them, you don’t have any idea of what it’s  like to deal with the chemotherapy and radiation. No clue about all of the  follow up visits hoping it’s gone. Whether you know these things exist or not,  to know it and to live it are two different beasts. 

God knows I hope we soon find a cure for this dreadful disease. Everyone from  celebrities to John Doe on the street can step into cancer’s path at any time.  They too may be hard pressed to answer the question - How do you answer  cancer?

To them and to you I hope that you may stay well. For those who have it, all  I can really say is be encouraged - though I have no idea at all how you are  really feeling inside. I do know that whatever you are feeling or whatever you  are going through, I give you my love and prayers. I have no answer for cancer
but I know God does.