Did Removal of Corporal Punishment Ruin Our Kids?

Copyright 2013         Aleasa M. Word             All Rights Reserved
How many times have you heard a parent who spanks their  child say “spare the rod, spoil the child?” Is this merely an excuse for a parent who is at their wits end and cannot effectively discipline their child without violence or is this a parent who knows the power of an occasional swat on the tail because it shows actions result in consequence?   
 
When I grew up I received spankings just like other kids around me.  Some called them behind whoopings, others would say they got a beating but it was pretty much all the same thing.  Some kids REALLY got  it, and others got a swift smack that left a memory!  We survived it and more times than not, never repeated the behavior that caused it in the first place.  There was a big difference though between those acts of what parents felt was correction vs. people savagely beating their children.  Parents who spanked their kids did so with the feeling that they loved them so much they wanted to be the one to correct them instead of the authorities should they become wayward children who turned into jail bird adults.  People would even  conclude that crime rates were far less then vs now. 
  
Today I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with a woman who survived hurricane Katrina. 
We talked about modern children vs. the ones of yesteryear.  We both noted how children from toddlers through school age seem to be lacking a component of respect for people in any position of authority.  They tell their teachers to shut up, yell at them, ignore them and have even hit them.  And to add insult to injury, many of today’s parents will get an attitude if you even bother to think you can tell them their child won’t listen, won’t  behave, or won’t do what they are supposed to do.  They will quickly let you know they are the only ones who can correct their children yet they don’t CORRECT THEIR CHILDREN.  And, these same parents blame teachers and other care givers when their children don’t learn or are out of line.  They are also the same ones in tears when THEIR child ends up pregnant at a young age, in jail, on drugs or worse. 
 
How do parents expect teachers and childcare workers who spend the majority of a child’s waking hours with them to teach them anything if they can’t effectively correct them when they are wrong? How will children   understand sit down means sit down, no means no and it’s quiet time means just that when these things aren’t enforced at home? Not all parents act this way but to those who do:    

· NO child should be telling an adult to shut up or curse at them
· NO child should act so annoyed by an adult who is put in a position to take care of, nurture or educate
  them that they retort with things like “what do you want, why are you bothering me, leave me alone etc.”
 ·NO child should be so disillusioned in life that they believe the ONLY correction they will ever receive is from
  their parent – this disservice is the catalyst that sends many kids to jail!
 
Children need to learn that in life there is structure and hierarchy.  How can they learn this however, if their parents aren’t the ones teaching it?  Parents I ask you this:
 
· Why aren’t you requiring your children to show YOU and other adults respect?    
     o   They will need to show this to their peers in the workplace
 ·Why do you think that allowing a child to express themselves is ok in ALL situations when that’s not the real
   world we live in –  there is a time and place for everything
 · How do you expect YOUR child to learn anything when their self-expression overtakes their willingness or
    ability to even learn basic  school lessons or have manners?
 · Why are you so afraid of telling your child no? No does not mean “I don’t love my parents anymore.” 
 
No one says you have to spank your children but there IS something to be said about strong, consistent discipline.   Studies say that violence as in the case of corporal punishment begets violence. 
I can’t say I really agree with that because I’ve never been to jail or on drugs and I was married before I had my first child.  My siblings own homes and have good jobs.  I know many who had spankings when they
were young and it was that correction at home that made them fear the consequences of the authorities and the court systems. 
  
We need to take a stand on effective discipline methods with our children. Whatever your stance is spankings or not – it’s time to STOP letting children think they can say and do what they want because it’s cute or   we’re too tired, lazy or guilty to do any better! 

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