Changing Your Opinions Doesn't Mean You've Lost

Copyright 2017                                                                                 by Aleasa Word

A few days ago I decided to take a break from social media. I realized all of the stories out there were really beginning to take a toll on my psyche. It took some real thinking to figure out that was what was happening to me but after  reading a few articles, I noticed I was stressed and pretty snappy to those around me. I tried to figure out why and even privately blamed those around me for just getting on my nerves as if somehow more than one person decided it was "Get on Mz. Word's damn nerves day" or something.  

Shortly thereafter,  I decided I needed to reflect. What happened in the span of a half hour? I had been having a pretty good day and then for some reason I was just cranky. It dawned on me. I'd just read a few things on Facebook and someone put a comment on a post hat rubbed me the wrong way. I clicked off of that post and then another post had a comment from someone that had me feeling the same way. The topics were both the same and I thought "why are these people tied to these opinions? " As I'd read comments, it wasn't the fact that I disagreed with their comments that bothered me but instead it seemed they disagreed with their own comments as well. After their original posts people replied. Once people replied they became very angry but were not able to support their original comments and almost wrote in a way that they contradicted what they said but were so angry in how they typed it didn't make sense. Some of the people replying to them were insensitive and posted rude things; however others posted real logic in a way that would make almost anyone think. The feeling I got was that these had no desire to think. They were simply tied to their first statement and that was what they were sticking to. 

After that night I planned to take a break, but because of business I really can't. It did make me begin to think differently about how people post on social media and begin to analyze not the differing opinions but the opinions people had that no longer served them. Despite being given factual information and not even being able to support their own arguments people really became and stayed tied to opinions. What is the underlying factor here? Why couldn't someone just say "ok, I didn't think of that" or something along those lines? 

Often times what I've found is that people are not tied to the opinions as much as they don't want to feel like they lost.  It's as if somehow saying that another person's view is right means they are wrong. The other view could just be a more informed view and they may not be bashing the other person at all but instead enlightening them. WE as a society have become so addicted to right and wrong that we will practically make fools of ourselves just to stick to our proverbial guns to be right when there is no harm in changing opinions based on new information. This mindset is everywhere and it is most dangerous to me in intimate relationships with our mates, parenting and when leaders in business feel this way. This unhealthy tie can be detrimental especially over the long term in relationships. In the workplace it can even make employees leave when managers act this way. 

Information changes all the time. What is reported in the news does not always contain all the information someone may need to form an informed opinion. Past experiences may even factor into how we form opinions. Without learning to be flexible we increase stress in relationships and build hostility. What we also do to ourselves is create stress pockets that are simply not necessary. Life is hard enough without self-inflicting overwhelm, frustration and stress on ourselves. 

Learn to let things go and realize changing opinions does not mean you've lost but instead you are willing to grow! 

Image: Pixabay.com JohnHain

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