Changing Perspective Not Strength; It's ok to Change Your Mind

Copyright 2014     Aleasa M. Word      All Rights Reserved

Society and our stubborn minds would have us thinking once we make a choice or decision, we're married to it forever.  We sometimes want to do things differently or even have new beliefs but we are addicted to the BS of life that says we must not be wishy washy and stick to whatever decisions we make in life.

It is this same scattered thinking that keeps people in bad relationships and jobs where we are being bullied, passed over or simply unsatisfied.  I believe our parents meant well when teaching us to stick to our decisions but there is more to go with that statement that we may not have been taught so well. The comparative is to a child playing an instrument.  A parent allows the child to play and every few weeks the child wants to play a new instrument because they are either bored or the challenge has become too much for them to bare.  Because we want our children to succeed and learn about following things through, we push on to teach them once you make a decision you must simply see it through to the end.  What we forget to say is once you make a "long, hard thought , all angles considered" decision it would be best to see it through.  And because we don't phrase it that way, people grow up their entire life believing they can NEVER stop doing something because it no longer serves their needs, but instead must finish it because that's what "good folks" do. 

I like to tell my clients that we sometimes should think like the government (yes that could be scary).  When they are making a decision about war or any military conflict they look at data on the ground at that moment. They plan and prepare their course of action according to the data they have at that time and the probability that they will win at whatever the conflict is.  Subsequently, when the data or intelligence changes as time goes on they are forced to make a new decision based on the new data.  This is not a wishy washy move, but instead a very calculated one as they sift through the rubble that is military decision making.  This rubble also permeates our lives.  In our personal lives the rubble we must sift through consists of past relationship failures, baggage from growing up, baggage from kids we went to school with and so on.  Sifting through the muck and myer of it all can be tiring, painful and seem to go on without any useless end in sight.  But it is the gem we find in the midst of the rubble that can set us on the path to a new journey of joy, balance and prosperity in life.  If we can just sift through the mess to find what we really want, who we really are and throw out the old ways and beliefs that no longer serve us we could emerge so much better in the end.  The fear is that if we let go of the old stuff we own that we will judged. Sadly, the only person judging us the most harshly is ourselves because we've imposed our beliefs about the world onto ourselves and we don't like it. 

Today is a new day and yesterday can stay right where it's at.  You can decide THIS DAY to be someone else. You can decide THIS DAY to own a new belief system that serves you as the "YOU "you are now as opposed to the person you were many years ago in your parent's home, workplace or with that old (or current ) mate.  The problem is we are afraid of this change because we will face resistance from others who are comfortable with us being uncomfortable in life.  For true friends and people who have your best interest at hand they will surely welcome the change you didn't even know they were waiting on from you. You have a right to make new decisions based on new data and keep it moving. You have a right to not have to explain why you are making better, more informed choices.  The response to the questions is simply "life is too short not to try other directions when you have data to show you how to get there."

Stop making the excuses "this is who I've always been" and instead look at who your are becoming.


Photo: Celestine Chua/Flickr

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