Are You Robbing Your Kids of the Right to Grow Up?

by Aleasa Word                                                        Copyright 2017


A lot of parents talk fondly about the day their kids grow up and go to college or get a job and place of their own. They fantasize about what it may be like to not have to clean up after their kids,, watch them waste or not appreciate things and so on. Sometimes I look at parents who express these statements and wonder who they think they are fooling with their delusion of grandeur.  Unfortunately, many of today's kids will be no more ready to be on their own at 18 than they would be at 8 because they simply aren't prepared. 

I would be silly to suggest that at 18yrs old I was fully ready to take on the world and take care of myself all at the same time. I will say, however, many in my generation were much more prepared to face the challenges life brings than kids of today. We had to learn our social skills and resiliency from real life experiences and not what we read on a blog, chat, twitter party or internet site. We took classes lime home economics that taught us simple things like sewing a button on a shirt. I had no idea the importance of this until I met someone a couple of years ago who told me they throw shirts away when that happens because they cant wear them with a missing button as if somehow the button is not replaceable.  This particular post was inspired by a conversation I had with my 14yr old who told me many of her friends didn't know how to do their own laundry or if they did their parents still did all of it for them and they had no idea how to cook anything. This floored me that parents don't feel it's in their kid's best interest to learn real responsibility for themselves  especially those who have been divorced because they were married to momma's' boys or spoiled rotten women who were never happy.  NEWSFLASH cupcake....if you're one of the parents I'm writing about you may be raising your child to act like your ex or some other person you know who is entitled and ill-informed about how to take care of themselves.  

The defense I hear from many is that they don't want their kids to grow up like they did. The question I ask is "do you want them to grow up at all?"  Learning how to be responsible for themselves needs to happen at home an not just when they go off to college. They need to know how to cook basic stuff so when they only have $10 to their name they can make it stretch by cooking a pot of spaghetti or chili.  They need to learn to be self-sufficient so those same parents aren't complaining when their adult kids can't seem to get their lives together in the very near future.  

Letting go of your child's childhood can be tough for parents. We learn to be needed and when that need doesn't seem to be as strong many can't deal so well with it so they create situation where the kids still need to be dependent.  I've learned from my oldest son that no matter how old they are, they will need you for something. So don't fret parents, please let go a little and let them grow up. Trust me, when life gets tough, they will always know where to find you. In the meantime continuing to have them depend on you for everyday basic needs as they age is unhealthy. The excuses "they don't do it right, they take too long, I don't want my washer ruined,etc" are just that EXCUSES.  If we take the time to slow down and show them they will get it right. I'd rather my kids mess up with me then go into the real world and mess up with people who don't possess the same love I have for them. Just a point to consider......let them learn from you.


Photo: Pixabay/Coffee

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