by Aleasa M. Word
Copyright 2016

You'd have to be permanently asleep or living on a deserted corner in America to not know about the terrible tragedy in Orlando, Florida this past weekend. To hear about 49 people being killed and several others being injured  was just devastating. To add insult to injury, knowing this happened at the hands of an American citizen was enough to just make people want to scream. 

If you're on twitter like me, you see a lot of things because of what's trending at the moment. As soon as the news broke hashtags like "Orlando Massacre" or "Pulse Shooting" were unleashed as some scurried to be the first to spread the news while others tried to see if their relatives were ok. In the last two days the county has been overcome with numerous media reports detailing the life of the lone gunman identified along with tributes to those who lost their lives. 

Prior to this tragedy, young singer Christina Grimmie of the television show the Voice also lost her life in Florida just a short time before the shooting of the others happened in another part of Orlando.  I can't even begin to imagine the pain the families feel. I also can't imagine the horror those had to experience who were at either of the shooting scenes.

What I can imagine is that a lot of people are in pain right now. No matter what our religious beliefs are, family beliefs are or moral compass suggests about how to live or not live our lives this kind of pain is simply unacceptable. People discriminate but pain does not. Mothers and fathers lost their children in the Pulse nightclub shooting. Kids lost  parents. People lost sisters, brothers, friends, aunts, uncles, mentors and friends. Grief is grief whether you wrap it in the American Flag, African Flag, Pride Flag, Puerto Rican Flag, Japanese Flag or any other flag for that matter.

This is not a time to worry about who thinks who was living right or wrong. It's not about people trying to push their own personal agendas whether political, non-religious, religious, gender specific, straight, gay or anywhere in between. We are in a state of crisis America. And no matter who was in that club that night, they were on American soil and this is an American crisis. We are in a constant state of pain because of the horrific act of others who live in so much pain it causes them to hate themselves and others around them.  

We must wake  up America. Stop worrying about who was right about what and realize we all need to unify because we are one big hurting country and until we unify the pain will continue. 

​Photo: Dvidshub/flickr

It comes every year. We know the time by heart. Graduations start. Kids get out of school for the summer....and then FATHER'S DAY. For some this is a reminder of "FATHERLESS" day.  The holiday itself is not to be mocked in my opinion as it is a well deserved day wherein dads who are making a difference in their children's lives are and should continue to be celebrated.  It's a day when so many take time to purposely remember all of the funny stories from their youth of dad doing something that left a remarkable impact on them. The day brings commercials that give us suggestions of gifts to give and ways to celebrate dad. Many take the time to stop everything they are doing to spend time with dad doing the special things he likes. Then, on the other side of life's highway, there are those who don't. 

The "those" I'm talking about are the fatherless children of America. As the studies suggest, the fatherlessness issue is not one to turn a blind eye to. Many children in our country live in  homes headed by single mothers, divorced mothers, widowed mothers, grandparents or other relatives. These are the innocent ones who are left behind in some instances due to death of a father, incarceration of a father or absence of a father in general. They live their lives day to day getting by the best way they can with the help of those around them but there are those moments when no one out there can hear the silent cry or see the building scars they grow on the inside. No amount of "it's going to be ok baby" in the world can undo the pain some of these children feel. Studies show that children in father absent homes are 4 times more likely to be poor. Everything from grade point averages, suicide rates, criminal behaviors and more can be linked to this absent factor according to information published from studies on the National Fathering Center.  Despite that information, I'm not here to push the agenda to bash single parents, grandparents, foster parents or anyone else including absent dads. In some cases dads are absent due to death or because here are abusive situations but that is not the intent for now.

Instead, today I ask my readers what will we do for Fathers Day for the children left behind? Father's Day is completely well-intentioned and I think it should stay because dads deserve it. I also think, however we wouldn't be harmed by re-evaluating how it is handled in the case of the fatherless. All around the country events happen including daddy daughter dances, church celebrations, parades, special dinners and more to honor "dad." For these kids there is no REAL DAD to celebrate. What if men decided to celebrate the kids and took the reigns to be the DAD for the day to those kids who often feel dad just doesn't exist? 

The way I see it, DAD does exist in more ways than we realize; however,  we have to get up off of our proverbial asses and make DAD appear. DAD can show up as the big brother or mentor to see the kid they have charge for on Father's Day spending time with them to heal the wounds of the messaging they've been hearing the week before the big day on television about dads.  DAD can appear when the man in your apartment building who is always nice to you and your kid stops by on Father's Day to say hello to little Johnny.  DAD can appear at church during the "Father's Day" ceremony by having pastors or worship leaders make a statement to all of the fatherless children in the congregation about how special they are ANYWAY. DAD can appear when males in our families step up, step in and spend more time with the kids who don't have their biological father in the picture. Everything from a phone call to a card or tossing a ball in the park for a half hour impacts the DAD mechanism as I like to call it in kids to give them that DAD moment.  We all know this is not a day about selfishness. This should not be a "look at me" "it's all about me" day but instead selflessness day. That is not to say we should stop celebrating our dads because without them I know there would be no us. It is just a mere re-framing of the concept to add the reverse DAD celebrations like these can make kids who don't even know what is like to have a DAD make them feel special at any time feel like they still matter. Imagine how fulfilling this would be on both sides. Imagine the "S" on the chest of the man who became DAD for a day to the fatherless child. Imagine the scars this DAD hero would help to heal in that child. 

The same can be said for those without a mother on Mother's Day but today we are simply talking abut father.s This year....remember the fatherless and become the DAD they need for just a day. 

Photo credit: Flickr/Jennifer Woodward Maderozo