by Aleasa Word                                                        Copyright 2017


A lot of parents talk fondly about the day their kids grow up and go to college or get a job and place of their own. They fantasize about what it may be like to not have to clean up after their kids,, watch them waste or not appreciate things and so on. Sometimes I look at parents who express these statements and wonder who they think they are fooling with their delusion of grandeur.  Unfortunately, many of today's kids will be no more ready to be on their own at 18 than they would be at 8 because they simply aren't prepared. 

I would be silly to suggest that at 18yrs old I was fully ready to take on the world and take care of myself all at the same time. I will say, however, many in my generation were much more prepared to face the challenges life brings than kids of today. We had to learn our social skills and resiliency from real life experiences and not what we read on a blog, chat, twitter party or internet site. We took classes lime home economics that taught us simple things like sewing a button on a shirt. I had no idea the importance of this until I met someone a couple of years ago who told me they throw shirts away when that happens because they cant wear them with a missing button as if somehow the button is not replaceable.  This particular post was inspired by a conversation I had with my 14yr old who told me many of her friends didn't know how to do their own laundry or if they did their parents still did all of it for them and they had no idea how to cook anything. This floored me that parents don't feel it's in their kid's best interest to learn real responsibility for themselves  especially those who have been divorced because they were married to momma's' boys or spoiled rotten women who were never happy.  NEWSFLASH cupcake....if you're one of the parents I'm writing about you may be raising your child to act like your ex or some other person you know who is entitled and ill-informed about how to take care of themselves.  

The defense I hear from many is that they don't want their kids to grow up like they did. The question I ask is "do you want them to grow up at all?"  Learning how to be responsible for themselves needs to happen at home an not just when they go off to college. They need to know how to cook basic stuff so when they only have $10 to their name they can make it stretch by cooking a pot of spaghetti or chili.  They need to learn to be self-sufficient so those same parents aren't complaining when their adult kids can't seem to get their lives together in the very near future.  

Letting go of your child's childhood can be tough for parents. We learn to be needed and when that need doesn't seem to be as strong many can't deal so well with it so they create situation where the kids still need to be dependent.  I've learned from my oldest son that no matter how old they are, they will need you for something. So don't fret parents, please let go a little and let them grow up. Trust me, when life gets tough, they will always know where to find you. In the meantime continuing to have them depend on you for everyday basic needs as they age is unhealthy. The excuses "they don't do it right, they take too long, I don't want my washer ruined,etc" are just that EXCUSES.  If we take the time to slow down and show them they will get it right. I'd rather my kids mess up with me then go into the real world and mess up with people who don't possess the same love I have for them. Just a point to consider......let them learn from you.


Photo: Pixabay/Coffee

                Copyright 2017                                                                 Aleasa M. Word

​The most successful people almost always seem to have an amazing story that chronicles the trials and tribulations they faced pushing through life to get to where they are. They have an ability to push far beyond the point where others would have surely quit. Somewhere along the line we could all benefit from learning that quitting is simply a bad idea that we learn early in life and need to unlearn.
 
Today I’ll offer some quick tips on how you can keep on going even when the road gets tough.
 
Ask yourself why you feel like quitting is the answer:

• You don’t feel like it. So many of us push ourselves to the point of exhaustion yet want to call it productivity.  No matter if it is physical or mental energy you exert, the body needs time to replenish its resources.  Many find themselves drained and this is a reason they find themselves quitting things unnecessarily.  Beat the exhausting by getting a good nights sleep and controlling your schedule better. Simplifying your life is also a must and remember energy comes from foods. Eating right is essential. Also, learn to be flexible and take some you time so you aren’t rigid and ward off stress.

 

• Your mind strays.  Today we live on a superhighway of information. There are so many distractions it can be hard to stay focused on things. When we have too many things on our plate, it can feel like we need to quit. Overcommitting yourself can lead to major overwhelm. Goals are great but some people set too many in too short of a time frame and we aren’t all build to function that way.  When this happens it’s good practice to take a few things off the plate and focus to completion on others. .
  
  
• It lacks importance to you. Do you get bored quickly? Some who do have a hard time being successful because they don’t have the sticktuitiveness to keep going. Remind yourself of what your original goals were. Think about those who may learn from what you have to offer if you stick to it?

 
 Finally, it’s important for you to try and understand why you have the desire to quit. It’s natural to want to quit. And most people do. Will you be one of the few that’s able to persevere? Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting up, brushing yourself off and moving forward despite how you feel.
  

• Think about your purpose. Are you motivated? If it’s not, it’s time to find a reason to get hyped again. If you can’t think of one, that might be a sign that you should be doing something else. But don’t give up too quickly. Look deeply. You’ll almost certainly find a compelling reason to continue.
  
  
• Small milestones matter.  Wins are motivating .  When tryin to reach your goals, it’s important to set yourself up for regular wins along the path. This way your forward movement feels better. When it feels good it’s easier to keep going. You will make it to the end but celebrate while you’re trying to get there.

 

• Keep your eye on the prize.  It’s obvious you may stumble but keep your eye on the prize and your stumbles will be learning blocks on the journey.  Focus on the fend goal and you can keep motivating yourself regularly.
  
  
• Create a schedule . Once your motivation begins to fade it’s easy to lose track of your goal. Other activities seem to take over your schedule and it becomes easier to procrastinate. So, make a schedule that will ensure you stay engaged. Make time so you don’t have an excuse to quit.
  
  
• Picture you quitting.  Quitting sounds like a plan when you let your feelings of failure or overwhelm take over; however, we usually regret doing it later. How will you feel in a week, month, or year from today if you let yourself quit?
  
  

The saying when the road gets tough the touch get going really has aa valid meaning.  No matter how strong your desire is to quit, think about why you wanted to do this in the first place and what the end will look like once you actually reach your goal.  Tenacity is a great indicator of success. It shows you can self-motivate and that is a key trait of a leader.  You will eventually succeed but you must keep going. 
Photo: Alexis_Photos / Pixabay