Copyright 2014    Aleasa M. Word     All rights reserved

Today we lost a legend, an icon of sorts.  Dr. Maya Angelou went to sleep and woke up with angels today.  Many know her for her wonderful poems and books as well as her gentle voice so full of wisdom from  life filled with unimaginable experiences. This woman so strong but humble in spirit touched so many people and inspired women all around the world to seek why the caged bird sings.

As a beautiful dancer who ended up dropping out of school only to return and then have a son shortly after graduation Dr. Angelou didn’t let that stop her.  She eventually toured Europe in my favorite stage play Porgy and Bess. Oh how I remember singing the song Summertime from that play when I was in the drama club knowing I was going to be a star.  She danced with Alvin Ailey, recorded music and even acted after she traveled abroad teaching and studying. She was fluent in 6 different languages while many people in the United States struggle with the one they are native to.  She stood with the cause of African American oppression in the United States enduring the days of Jim Crow and walking along side the likes of Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In 1993 Dr. Maya Angelou had the honor of being only the second poet to read at a presidential inauguration when President Bill Clinton was sworn in to office.  This woman did not go unnoticed with her kind sprit that spoke of the strength of a well -worn woman who aged like a fine bottle of wine.

In 2014 another virtual icon who has impacted the world in ways now one could ever imagine, Oprah Winfrey mourned the loss of this woman along with the rest of the world.  Dr. Angelou was her good friend, spiritual mother, sister friend and confidant. The number of times she spoke of her could not be counted. I do recall, however a statement that Oprah once said on her show that has stuck in my spirit and caused me to make peace with my own mother. She said that Dr. Angelou told her that when her mother knew better she did better…when people know better, they do better.  I remember all of the anger I had about what I didn’t understand about my own life with family , friends, schoolmates and even relationship partners rushing out of my body.  It was then I could finally forgive everything I ever felt that hurt me and release myself from the pain just from those simple words.  Many think it is the long winded, wise statement that means the most but instead it is those words so simple and so true that speak to the spirit of mankind in a way that are instantly released from negativity IF we are willing to listen.

My great grand mother died a few years back at 105 and I remember always wanting to be like her when I grew up. She was quick witted and could tell you about yourself without every using profanity or raising her voice. She was, however one to help you get past your own mess and move forward toward a solution for any problem you had. I’ve always gravitated towards older women because they had something my own soul needed and that was wisdom. Dr. Angelou had that wisdom in everything she said.  Regardless of where her younger self took her she learned to grow into the woman of eloquence she became over the years fully accepting herself just as she was.

My prayer is that as I continue to grow into my own woman-ness I can be more like the woman of my grandmother Josephine’s generation and also like the few from Dr. Maya Angelou’s generation. To have such grace, dignity, integrity and firmness wrapped in a kind word is a gift and a craft all at the same time.  I hope mothers of today really study who and what she was as they too aspire to be better and do better for the sake of their own children and all mankind.

As for me, I am on a mission to be the phenomenal woman I know I can be understanding it comes with time much like a well run marathon. In the end I want to hear the words I know Dr. Angelou heard from God today….well done my good and faithful servant.

Copyright 2014     Aleasa M. Word      All Rights Reserved

Society and our stubborn minds would have us thinking once we make a choice or decision, we're married to it forever.  We sometimes want to do things differently or even have new beliefs but we are addicted to the BS of life that says we must not be wishy washy and stick to whatever decisions we make in life.

It is this same scattered thinking that keeps people in bad relationships and jobs where we are being bullied, passed over or simply unsatisfied.  I believe our parents meant well when teaching us to stick to our decisions but there is more to go with that statement that we may not have been taught so well. The comparative is to a child playing an instrument.  A parent allows the child to play and every few weeks the child wants to play a new instrument because they are either bored or the challenge has become too much for them to bare.  Because we want our children to succeed and learn about following things through, we push on to teach them once you make a decision you must simply see it through to the end.  What we forget to say is once you make a "long, hard thought , all angles considered" decision it would be best to see it through.  And because we don't phrase it that way, people grow up their entire life believing they can NEVER stop doing something because it no longer serves their needs, but instead must finish it because that's what "good folks" do. 

I like to tell my clients that we sometimes should think like the government (yes that could be scary).  When they are making a decision about war or any military conflict they look at data on the ground at that moment. They plan and prepare their course of action according to the data they have at that time and the probability that they will win at whatever the conflict is.  Subsequently, when the data or intelligence changes as time goes on they are forced to make a new decision based on the new data.  This is not a wishy washy move, but instead a very calculated one as they sift through the rubble that is military decision making.  This rubble also permeates our lives.  In our personal lives the rubble we must sift through consists of past relationship failures, baggage from growing up, baggage from kids we went to school with and so on.  Sifting through the muck and myer of it all can be tiring, painful and seem to go on without any useless end in sight.  But it is the gem we find in the midst of the rubble that can set us on the path to a new journey of joy, balance and prosperity in life.  If we can just sift through the mess to find what we really want, who we really are and throw out the old ways and beliefs that no longer serve us we could emerge so much better in the end.  The fear is that if we let go of the old stuff we own that we will judged. Sadly, the only person judging us the most harshly is ourselves because we've imposed our beliefs about the world onto ourselves and we don't like it. 

Today is a new day and yesterday can stay right where it's at.  You can decide THIS DAY to be someone else. You can decide THIS DAY to own a new belief system that serves you as the "YOU "you are now as opposed to the person you were many years ago in your parent's home, workplace or with that old (or current ) mate.  The problem is we are afraid of this change because we will face resistance from others who are comfortable with us being uncomfortable in life.  For true friends and people who have your best interest at hand they will surely welcome the change you didn't even know they were waiting on from you. You have a right to make new decisions based on new data and keep it moving. You have a right to not have to explain why you are making better, more informed choices.  The response to the questions is simply "life is too short not to try other directions when you have data to show you how to get there."

Stop making the excuses "this is who I've always been" and instead look at who your are becoming.


Photo: Celestine Chua/Flickr