The Tired Woman

Copyright 2014           Aleasa M. Word      All Rights Reserved

I sat down to write a blog and realized tonight that I'm exhausted. I'm not just physically exhausted but mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.

As a working woman in 2014 there never seems to be enough time to do all the things that need to be done. There are more demands on people today than ever before. Single headed households are rising but the pay seems to be lagging and the work is increasing.  I did not choose to be a single mother but unfortunately life turned out that way.  I planned to be married and have the house on the hill like others we picture in the frame of what we believe is the American Dream; but, my dream crashed and burned in divorce court several years ago.   I yearned to have my children grow up, go off to college and meet their soul mate all while preparing for their careers.  I thought I'd grow old peacefully with the man of my dreams and watch the sunset together every day as the world lived in peace. What I did not know was the man of my dreams would not come until long after my children were born from a union that was less than dreamy.

Wait a minute......was that a scene from a movie? Real life is filled with news headlines full of violence every day and even now an airplane seems to have vanished into thin air.  Children are being abused as pornography rings are uncovered daily. Cyber stalking and bullying is causing people to commit suicide. The keyboard on the computer has become the smoking gun used to force pain on others. Our food supply  is filled with GMO's and foods that children are severely allergic to that should simply provide us with basic nourishment but instead could kill.  Racism has re-reared its ugly head in light of President Obama making office and staying there for two terms.  His policy or lack thereof has been overshadowed by the color of his skin and caused many to show their ugly side.  Stand your ground laws that were meant for good are now being used by criminals with malicious intent to kill teenagers just because they can and almost get away with it. People involved in murder trials as the defendant become an overnight celebrity once the trial is finished even though someone ended up dead. Churches are filled with pastors dying in the pulpit, lying in the pulpit and some even crying in the pulpit because they are so broken they have no one to turn to and prayer is not working in their eyes.

I am a tired woman. I am tired of seeing all of the pain people are in and tired of suffering through my own from time to time. I am tired of working a full time job, running a business, going to school and raising kids alone all to make ends meet and appear as though I'm living my dream.  The dream right now should involve a rest that never seems to come. It involves finding ways to do less and make more without sacrificing my children or my soul.  It involves me finding better ways to worship the God I love so very deeply without feeling like going to church is yet another burden I must bear. 

What I am most tired of is seeing families created that involve incompatible parents who build dysfunctional lives and raise dysfunctional children who simply want to be loved but aren't.  I'm tired of men being so broken they can't even figure out their place in society because society tells them there is no longer a place for them. I am sick and tired of single mothers being the sole excuse for our society spiraling downard in an inexcusable cycle of violence blamed on the mother for not having enough time for her child and supposedly running the fathers off. I am very tired of cancer and HIV taking lives of people who had bright futures ahead of them. I am tired of females being called bitches and hoes all while they are bashed for assimilating to the title but exploited for pleasure in media everywhere.  I am tired of managers who know people need their jobs using this as a way to abuse their power because they can as a way to escape the personal hell they live in.  I am tired of seeing people homeless in a country that was once the richest in the world while legislators piss and moan over silly bills getting paid in and out of session.  I am tired of telling my black child he must use a caution reserved only for people like us to avoid being looked at as angry, aggressive, intimidating or like a thief when he just wants to go into a store and buy a candy bar.  I am tired of men telling women who are for the cause to raise healthy boys and help repair emotionally broken men to stay in their lane when the job still needs to be done by someone. Honestly, all in all, I am tired, tired, tired. This is the plight of the tired woman.

Photo: Hyperomer/Flickr

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